It's common knowledge that throughout modern history women have had a bad rap for being hysterical and hormonal. Unable to reason or or have valid opinions as we are at the mercy of our monthly cycles (eye roll).

A lot of the feminist activism of the last 150 years or so has been aimed at squashing these rumours. Of deleting any differences between men and women.

Although there is no scientific fact behind the hysterical female stereotype, emerging science demonstrates that there are differences between the sexes and these are brilliant and should be celebrated.

I personally notice my hormones have a major influence on my feelings and decisions, strongly linked to survival. Like the time I was 40 wks pregnant on my due date and going for a long walk along the rocky oceanside hoping to induce labour. I instinctually had a need to find a cave and settle in to give birth. Of course I was to be birthing in a hospital, but still, my instinct, my lizard brain, was telling me to find private shelter.

Or as a breastfeeding mother, I sensed if anyone messed with me or my baby I was ready to viciously go for the jugular. This is the mama bear response, well documented to be associated with the oxytocin that breastfeeding produces. Luckily it never came to that.

But back to present day.

I had been clucky for a pup, cooing over other peoples dogs for months. The prospect of a pup had been out of the question. I wasn't sure where to find one. We had been in a rental while we renovated with no pets allowed. Andy and I had a very special border collie named Jim who had passed of old age in 2018, when our kids were still babies. I wrote about him and the grief of losing him here. It hadn't been practical to get a dog.

And then, out of nowhere one Sunday morning, I pulled an oracle card; Animal Soul Friends. My oracle readings are always spot on, but this one threw me a bit. I read the message and completed the attached healing process, all the while with a question at the back of my mind, what did this have to do with my life? I then pulled another card. Angel Raphael, healer of hearts. 

It was hours later that it occurred to me that right now was the perfect time for a new pup. I've been living in Yallingup these last couple of months and working from home. We were about to start summer holidays and it was looking like I'd be staying here until March or April rather than January/February like originally planned. Now is the perfect time for me to get a puppy.

I started looking. My husband wasn't keen on the idea so I put it out of my head, but I could not stop looking. I mean obsessively looking. I would sit at my computer with a few tasks in mind and end up looking for dogs. Researching what breed would suit us best, our backyard is much smaller now after extending our house, the pup needed to be small.  I contacted breeders with poodles, lhasa apso dogs and maltese crosses. Being in a country area, they were all hours drive away and difficult to check out. After a day or two of this I decided a Miniature Schnauzer would be a good fit. I found a breeder who had a 4 - 6 month waitlist. That's ok, I told her, and went back to my work. But still that niggling feeling, I found myself searching still. And then found a website that is purely for registered breeders, and found two miniature schnauzer pups just 9 weeks old and ready to go in Busselton, just 25 minutes up the road. The only dogs available close by and the exact breed I was looking for.

I rang and asked to come check them out with the kids after pick up. Sure, no problem.

'We're just looking at the puppies' I told the kids. At the time I was telling myself I would not be buying a dog. I was just looking, because my need to be near a puppy was just so great at the time.

There were two sweet little pups. One with a green ribbon around his neck and the other with a pink. The pink was very laid back and independent and didn't seem much interested in the kids or playing with her brothers and sisters. The green one was curious and playful and he followed the breeder around with his head adorably cocked to the side.

We left. The breeder wanted me to take him straight away but I did not. I wasn't ready, I had no equipment. He needed a crate and food. I was only supposed to be looking. I needed to think about this.

I woke up yearning for that little green-ribboned puppy in my heart. Feeling it deeply like an ache. John John, My 5 yr old, climbed into my bed for a cuddle like he does every morning, "Mummy" he said “I really want a puppy.” He was yearning too.

Me too, sweetheart. All the guidance and signs were telling me to take the plunge and get the pup.

It was arranged. He was a divine disruption. It caused drama, my mother in law was not too happy about a pup being in her holiday house, my husband was worried about his mother and the ongoing responsibility of a dog. I knew everyone would come around. This house has had puppies before.

The puppy was ridiculously precious and cute, asleep in my lap. I named him Raphy after Archangel Raphael. The green ribbon, Raphaels colour, and the oracle card immediately following the Animal Soul friends card, seemed like it was meant to be. I felt I was following divine instruction. But I started to doubt myself. Had i made the right decision? He is a major responsibility. Am I a drama addict? Are my family drama addicts? Everything had been going so well and then I went and threw a bitey chewy little puppy into the mix. Everything worthwhile is hard work, I told my husband...and myself.

And then I ovulated. I had been coming up to ovulation the week of obsessively searching for and procuring a baby. A baby dog. Was this decision hormonal? Now my youngest is 5 (about to be 6) but I am still of childrearing years, did I just need a baby in my arms? A baby to care for?  You can treat dogs like babies for their entire lives. Especially small, very cute ones.  Was this dog my baby replacement? Yes. Yes he was.

The dust has settled now. It needed to settle. It took a month, but everyone is happy. Especially me, with my dog, I am overflowing with love and gratitude for this sweet little fur angel. I can't believe how lucky I am.

The decision to have...I mean ... adopt... this puppy may well have been hormonally influenced but it is a decision that brings colossal love and joy for my family and for him, for Raphy. That sweet animal benefits so much from our love. My children will grow up with him as their companion. Heading out for walks with the kids and the dog feels so right, and so relaxing. I've met many friendly faces in the neighbourhood because we have him in our lives. He is a connector, a healer, a lover and a very cuddly little comedian.

Our hormones evolved to enhance our lives and ensure our survival. Hormones bring love into our lives in the form of children and connection....and puppies. Being influenced by healthy hormones is not a bad thing.

On the other hand...Hormones that are not so balanced, or not so healthy and are wrecking havoc .... well that's all too common and can feel like a very bad thing. It's also a whole lot of other blogs. Naturopathic medicine has the tools to bring you back into your glorious radiant self, so please make an appointment with me to welcome in a better functioning version of you.